Henry's New Years Eve plans discovered!

We have just received and verified reports form our source in Colombo that Henry has checked in to the Cinnamon Grand hotel in Sri Lanka's capital city under his most commonly used alias, Alfred Caroline Hitchcock. After bribing a hotel clerk, our source discovered that Henry plans to stay in Colombo throughout the following week.

*The alias is a tribute to his favourite film director, Alfred Hitchcock. Rumours have circulated that Caroline is reference to who is believed to be his former lover, Caroline Louise Marguerite, Her Royal Highness the Princess of Hanover. The two are suspected of having had a secret love affair during the Princess' menopause. Henry has neither confirmed or denied these rumours, although it very adequately explains his company's acquisition of a former Monegasque Royal Palace, as well as his honourary title, the Marquis of Guiscard.

Day trip to a Tamil Village

Contrary to reports of Henry's arrival tomorrow afternoon, we have learned that Henry has been in India for a number of days now. He was sighted in the Cardamom Hills late last night, and his publicity office has released pictures of his visit to a Tamil Village in Northern Sri Lanka this morning.

Here the children are seen celebrating a festival held in Henry's honour. The swords are symbols representing Henry's glorious victory over the beast that would come down from the forest in the dark of the night and urinate on the village's tea plantations; this apparently had no negative affect on the crops whatsoever. However, it produced a reprehensible odour that unfortunately made cooking, football matches and sexual intercourse activities that were very unpleasant for the village's inhabitants.

Henry never revealed what exactly the beast was, but scientists from Harvard and the Indian Council on Agricultural Research have speculated that it was a rare breed of feline that now, thanks to Henry's brave endeavour, is beleived to be extinct.

Further news on Henry's whereabouts are unknown.

A Bodkin New Year

News of Bobo's plans to spend New Year's Eve in India were leaked by his former secretary to the Associated Press. Despite his attempts to suppress this information from the media, we have nonetheless managed to acquire his travel plans. He is due to arrive in New Dehli and on 30th December, around midday.

British Airways has released a statement notifying the public that due the extreme influx of demand for tickets to New Dehli this New Years Even prices have increased to premium rates, although this move reportedly had a minimal affect on their ticket purchases.

News has been filtered that Bodders will be rowing on Saturday, but hte location has been kept secret. In other news, Bodders has updated his Facebook Groups and created the group 'Leonidas IV'. This illusive group is membership upon request only, but we do, however, have agents on the ground who are in the process of infiltrating Bodders' newest following.

Bodders attends mundane charity event, something to do with children and Africa.

Bodders was seen to be celebrating his defeat of the Castle College wrongful incrimination at the Durham University House Party Society. Bodders was sporting his 'Edward Cider Hands', apparently a ritual he and his colleagues engage in throughout periods of euphoria, the effects of which have been known to cause repercussion hundreds of miles away.

Bodders is cleared of all charges relating to the Castle Gleeson fiasco much to the delight of Queen and country alike.

Bodders' rowing training was filmed to satisfy the mammoth female demand for "more of Bodders getting down and sweaty and doing that boat thing" and will be put on the internet, on his website, for all frustrated housewives.

Bodders wins Tatler Man of the Year, 2007.

Bodders is papped out on the town, shares a case of Cristal with Larry (the crazy one), and pulls Kate Moss.

Bodders scoops Male Model of the Year, beating Hansel in an electrifying walk-off. Doesn't turn up to the Oscars, disappointing his thousands of fans.

First airing of Bodders' new L'Oreal advert. He IS worth it.